Are You in an Enmeshed Relationship?

enmeshed relationship

Have you ever been in a relationship that controls you?  Have you ever put someone else’s wants and needs before your own?  Is it possible that you have lost your own sense of identity?  Do you feel guilt and angst over letting another person down?  If so, you may be in an enmeshed relationship. What is Enmeshment? When you are enmeshed with someone, you can become consumed with the other person.  There are no clear boundaries within the relationship, and any boundaries that do exist are permeable.  It’s very common for a lot of over-sharing to occur in an enmeshed relationship.  It may be impossible for each person to have their own individuality and instead feel defined by the relationship. ...

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What is Counterdependency, and how is it Related to Codependency?


If you’ve not heard of Counterdependency, you’re actually not alone.  Most people I encounter have never heard of this pattern of behavior, which is in a similar yet opposite realm of Codependency.  It’s important to note that Counterdependency can be just as detrimental to relationships as Codependency.  So before I talk about Counterdependency, let’s talk about Codependency. What is Codependency? Codependency is a pattern of unhealthy behaviors relating to rescuing others.  Codependents struggle to say “no” due to feeling guilty or that they are letting others down.  They will over-extend themselves to make others happy.  They are people-pleasers.  Codependents have poor boundaries and take on other’s problems and emotions.  They will over-involve themselves in order to “help” others.  They neglect...

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Are You Codependent (And Don’t Know It)?


Codependency is a topic I talk a lot about in therapy sessions.  Many people I work with are codependent, and actually don’t realize it.  Often this is because they’ve never heard of codependency, or they have heard of it and don’t realize what it actually is.  This week on the blog, I will be discussing what it means to be codependent, and how you can be healthier in your relationships. Causes of Codependency Codependency was first identified in the 1950’s as a role that many people fall into when they are married to or close to someone in active addiction.  Also referred to as a “co-addict”, codependents often enable the addict to continue using, without actually realizing it! If you...

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What is Enmeshment?


Enmeshment exists when one partner is overly consumed and obsessed with another person in a relationship.  It may be hard for outsiders to see where you end and the other person begins.  In an enmeshed relationship, you may think/say things like “You complete me” or “I can’t live without you”.  In this type of relationship, there are no clear boundaries. An enmeshed relationship is suffocating and codependent.  Enmeshment can include only spending time with one other person.  It can also look like being unable to make a decision without that person’s opinion. Enmeshment is most often seen in intimate/romantic relationships, but can also exist between parents and children, siblings, and friends. Most individuals who are in enmeshed relationships don’t realize...

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