How to Set Boundaries in a Relationship

boundaries

What Are Boundaries? Boundaries exist so that we can teach others the expectations, rules, and limits we have.  Boundaries also communicate what our emotional needs are.  They exist to keep bad things out of our relationships and good things in. Boundaries allow us to say “I’m ok/not ok with that”.  They provide a layer of protection to a relationship.  If boundaries have never been discussed or established, there is a good chance that invisible lines have been crossed many times.  There may be a lot of hurt and conflict in the relationship, but very little understanding on how to resolve it. How many times have you said “Yes” to something and really meant “No”?  Boundaries help us to say “No”...

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Marriage: Are You Friends or Enemies?

marriage

All too often I see couples who come into my office with their marriage in trouble and on the verge of divorce.  They come to counseling in an attempt to save their marriage.  You can usually spot these couples from a mile away.  They sit on opposite sides of the couch (not touching AT ALL!), usually have their arms folded, and the moment they start talking, everything is the other person's fault. Somewhere along the way, they stopped being each other’s friend and instead started to view one another as enemies.  They no longer look at the marriage as a team effort.  Any positive feelings that they once had about their spouse are long gone.  How does a marriage get...

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Cheap and Free Date Nights

date

Date nights are a fun way to reconnect with your partner.  Often in sessions, I hear things like “We just don’t have time”, or “We can’t find a baby-sitter”, or “We don’t have the extra money”.  If you’ve ever said any of the above, please keep reading! I’m going to prove that date nights don’t have to be expensive.  The first thing I want you to try is to Google “Cheap date nights in (insert your city and state)”.  Just in Indy alone, there are dozens of websites with ideas for cheap date nights.  In addition to this, Groupon/Living Social are wonderful resources to get local deals on restaurants, shows, and activities...with huge discounts! Think outside of the box.  Dinner...

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Are Your Social Media Posts Hurting Others?

Social media

We live in a day and age where we post everything online.  The good, the bad, the in-between—it all gets posted!  However, what you may not realize is that your social media post, although posted with good intentions, could possibly be hurting your online friends.  Here are some things to consider: Infertility and Loss So you’re expecting—Congrats!  While it’s an exciting time for you, take a moment to think about the friends who may see your pregnancy announcement on social media.  1 in 8 couples experience infertility.  This means statistically there are many of your online friends who will see your post, and for them, it may instantly trigger grief.  I’m not saying don’t celebrate the good things in your...

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The Power of Prayer in a Marriage

prayer

We pray when we are at church, before we eat, and at bedtime with children. Often we pray for direction and guidance for careers, our personal battles, and our enemies. We use prayer for healing, to change in the world, and to ask for miracles. But how often do we pray for our own spouse? In your day to day living, your spouse is the person you probably complain about the most, argue with the most, and the one that does the most things that drive you absolutely crazy. In addition to this, they are the ones that get taken for granted, in both your life and your prayer life. Imagine the transformation that could take place if you made...

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Why Premarital Counseling?

premarital counseling

I remember hearing a story once of a couple who went to one scheduled premarital counseling session before their marriage. When the session turned to the topic of intimacy, the counselor just chuckled and said “Oh, you’ll figure that out!” and moved onto the next topic. Many of us enter into marriage with a “we’ll just figure it out” mentality. Marriage can’t be that hard, right? What’s Your Priority? A bride and groom spend many hours preparing every last detail for the wedding day. What if even a fraction of the time was spent preparing for the marriage?  It's common for couples to say, “We just don’t have the time and/or money for premarital counseling”. It's important to remember that...

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