Request An Appointment
(765) 432-9238
Menu

Category: Communication

Let’s Talk About Attachment Theory: Relationships & Triggers

March 6, 2024
| No Comments
| Attachment, Communication, Counseling, Relationships, Uncategorized
Couple experiencing attachment issues in relationship

If you have been following along in our most recent blogs, we have been talking all about attachment theory. In the last blog, I introduced the four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. In today’s blog we will expound on how each attachment style manifests in relationships. And just for clarity, I mean all relationships—relationships between spouses, between friends, between co-workers. No relationship is exempt. Additionally, we will explore common attachment triggers and how insecure attachment styles can move toward secure attachment.  Manifestations of Attachment Styles in Relationships  Secure Attachment  Secure attachment is the aim of healthy relationships according to attachment theory. Securely attached adults are aware of their own emotions and emotional needs. They have established ways of...

Read More

The Pursuer-Distancer Pattern of Communication

October 17, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Marriage
pursuer-distancer

Most couples struggle with communication at some point in their relationship.  It’s normal for couples to come into session and really have a hard time working through conflict and disagreements.  Sometimes it’s as though they can’t even work through the simplest of disagreements.  Obviously, this is discouraging and scary to couples who want better for their relationship. In fact, there is a pattern called the Pursuer-Distancer that can help explain the dance that happens between couples.  Today I’m going to talk about what this looks like, and how to work together to be healthier in your communication with one another. The Pursuer Let’s meet Karen.  Karen is a pursuer.  She likes to deal with conflict in the moment.  Karen will...

Read More

All about the Enneagram Types

September 19, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Relationships
enneagram types

If you are a reader, or interested in psychology at all, you’ve probably heard of the Enneagram.  The Enneagram is comprised of 9 different personality types that explain a person’s worldview.  It also explains what motivates them, their personality characteristics, and how they relate to others.  The 9 Enneagram types are numbered one through nine and are arranged on a chart like a nonagram--a 9-pointed figure. The Enneagram not only discusses the good parts of a person’s personality, but also the “flaws”, fears, and sinful tendencies that each number may struggle with.  It also helps a person identify ways to improve themselves by identifying what they struggle with at their core. The Enneagram is becoming more and more well-known.  It’s...

Read More

5 Ways to Successfully Navigate Money Issues in Marriage

July 4, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Finances, Marriage
money marriage carmel indiana

Money is definitely the number one topic that couples fight about.  Why is this?  Money is complicated.  It’s necessary to have money in order to live.  It’s necessary to make money.  And it’s often difficult to be on the same page as your partner when it comes to your views about money. It’s very typical to have one person in a marriage that is the Saver, and one that is the Spender.  This automatically creates conflict.  When one person wants to save (for the future, emergencies, rainy days), and the other wants to live and enjoy life by spending money, a conflict will ensue. So how do you successfully navigate money in your marriage?  Today I’m going to discuss some...

Read More

12 Toxic Habits That Kill Relationships

May 30, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
habits

We all have unhealthy habits in our romantic relationships or marriages.  However, there are definitely some behaviors that are considered more “toxic” or dangerous to the relationship long-term.  If you find yourself or your partner falling into any of the following habits, you may want to consider reaching out for help!  Many of the habits listed below could lead to major issues and a toxic relationship between the two of you. Control Do you have equal power in your relationship?  There are a few reasons why this is important.  One, you need to have equal say and decision-making power.  Two, your relationship is a team.  If you find yourself having less than 50% power, it may be time to re-evaluate....

Read More

Are You a Good Friend?

April 11, 2018
| No Comments
| Boundaries, Communication, Relationships
friend

What makes someone a good friend?  A good friend is reliable, trustworthy, and honest.  They love you enough to be a listening ear, but care enough to call you out on unhealthy behaviors.  They live life with you in community through the ups and downs.  They’re present and show forgiveness and grace. We all have those “friends”.  You know what I mean.  The friends who are flaky, unreliable, and unavailable.  The one who commits to plans, but you know will probably back out last second.  Maybe the friend is a surface-level friend, meaning that you only talk about the weather and your kids’ activities, but never anything deep.  What about that friend that takes and takes, but never gives in...

Read More

8 Fair Fighting Rules for Couples

March 28, 2018
| 2 Comments
| Communication, Marriage, Relationships
fair fighting

All couples fight.  It’s inevitable!  But do you and your partner know how to fight fair?  This week on the blog I’m going to discuss some Rules for Fair Fighting.  It’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, and say and do things that are hurtful and damaging.  The following Fair Fighting Rules can help your disagreements be productive and conflict resolved quicker: I-Messages The best way to talk about Fair Fighting Rules is to discuss the way you start a conversation.  I talk a lot with couples about the difference between an I-Message and a You-Message.  A You-Message is blaming, attacking, and critical.  It sounds a little like this: “You never take the trash out...

Read More

Do You Have Good Emotional Intelligence?

March 21, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Feelings
emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (also called EQ) is a hot-button topic right now.  Emotional Intelligence is the ability to empathize with others, read the room, and also be in touch with your own emotions.  I’m going to talk about why Emotional Intelligence is so important, and how you can improve your EQ to be more successful. What is Emotional Intelligence? When you walk into a room, can you “read” the room?  Can you pick up on social cues from others?  Are you observant?  Can you imagine what it’s like to walk in another person’s shoes (empathize)?  Do you understand what emotions you feel and why?  If you can answer yes to these questions, you probably have high EQ. EQ is the ability...

Read More

Let’s Talk About Sex

February 7, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
sex

Can it be awkward to talk to your spouse about your sex?  Absolutely!  We all want to think that we have everything figured out sexually and that our spouses are completely satisfied.  Many couples enter into a marriage expecting that things in the bedroom will just happen or have a way of working themselves out.  Obviously, this is not always the case. I often ask couples to look at it from this perspective: Would you rather endure a few possibly uncomfortable conversations or a lifetime of being unhappy or unsatisfied in your sex life?  By following these suggestions and opening dialogue between you and your spouse, you can assure you are moving intimacy in a more enjoyable and fulfilling direction...

Read More

8 Reasons You’re Not Succeeding

January 24, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Feelings, Goals
succeeding

Now that we’re a few weeks into the New Year, it’s a great time to reflect on what is/is not working in your life.  If you’re feeling stuck, stagnant, and in a season where there’s no progress, I would invite you to read this blog.  There are many reasons why you may not be succeeding, and you have the power to make some change.  Here are some suggestions to help you achieve personal growth and success this year: 1.You’re the smartest person in the room The smartest and most successful people in the world know that they have to surround themselves with people who challenge them.  Presidents have staff members, business owners have board members, and celebrities have teams of...

Read More