10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming a Mom

mom

About a month ago, I became a mom to the most beautiful, sweet, and cuddly little girl.  She is our answer to so many prayers, and our wish come true. Before I became a mom, there are so many things I had heard about, and yet not experienced.  Today on the blog I would love to take some time to address some of these small, yet meaningful things I’ve learned. 1. Let It Go I am a self-proclaimed control freak.  I like order, schedules, and knowing what to expect.  Over the past month, to some extent, some of that has flown out the window.  While a schedule is still really important, this controller is learning to slowly let go of...

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How Miscarriage Impacts a Marriage

miscarriage

Finding out that you’re expecting a baby is undoubtedly one of the most joyful things in life you will ever experience.  You may start imagining what your life is going to look like in a few months and dream about this little one.  You may choose names and a nursery theme.  But for 1 in 5 women, these dreams will not come to fruition.  You discover at some point in your pregnancy that your precious little one is no longer alive.  You’ve suffered a miscarriage. Miscarriages are hell on earth.  They are the loss of life, the loss of a dream, and the loss of a family.  Experiencing a miscarriage can be extremely hard on a marriage as well.  Today,...

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Why I Think You Should Consider Premarital Counseling Before Your Wedding

premarital

Pretty soon we will be starting wedding season!  It’s hard to believe that spring will be around the corner.  This is also the time of year when many couples have gotten engaged and are also planning a wedding for this year or next.  If you find yourself engaged, I want to take some time to advocate for the importance of Premarital Counseling.  So much time goes into the planning of the wedding, but what about planning for the marriage?  What if you spent time planning for your lifetime together, in order to address any problem areas before you say “I do”?  I think it’s important, especially with our marriages, to be proactive versus reactive with addressing problems. Why Premarital Counseling?...

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Do You Live in a Depressed House?

depressed

This time of year can be especially difficult for those who are prone to Depression.  Lately, I’ve noticed an influx of clients who are really depressed and struggling with the cold, dreary days we’ve been experiencing.  Whether it’s Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or both—it can be hard to function when the days are so short and gray. Have you ever heard of a depressed house?  It’s a household that has one or more people who struggle with Depression.  When even one person in a house struggles with Depression, it changes the whole dynamic of a house.  So how can you help your household? When You Are the Depressed Person Depression can look very different from person to person.  For some,...

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Why January is Called “Divorce Month”

divorce

January is a hard month for multiple reasons—it’s cold, dreary, there is not a lot to look forward to, and the holidays are over.  January is also known unofficially as “divorce month”—the month where more divorces are filed than any other month of the year. The first Monday after New Year’s Day sees a significant hike in divorce filings.  For some couples, they stay together for the holidays to create one last “normal” Christmas.  Oftentimes this is done for the sake of the children and/or extended family.  Sometimes it is because the couple wanted to give it one last push at the end of the year to see if things could be fixed.  Also, since the New Year is associated...

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Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Propose

propose

We are coming into the holiday season, which means that lots of people will be getting engaged soon.  If you plan to propose soon or believe your partner may be, I want you to take a second to consider if this is the right fit for you, or even the right time.  In a time period where the divorce rate for first marriages is 50% and rising, you want to make sure you are making the right decision for both of you. As someone who works with a lot of couples in many different stages of relationships (dating, engaged, married, divorcing), I meet a lot of couples who rushed into marriage without understanding the commitment they were making.  My hope...

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The Pursuer-Distancer Pattern of Communication

pursuer-distancer

Most couples struggle with communication at some point in their relationship.  It’s normal for couples to come into session and really have a hard time working through conflict and disagreements.  Sometimes it’s as though they can’t even work through the simplest of disagreements.  Obviously, this is discouraging and scary to couples who want better for their relationship. In fact, there is a pattern called the Pursuer-Distancer that can help explain the dance that happens between couples.  Today I’m going to talk about what this looks like, and how to work together to be healthier in your communication with one another. The Pursuer Let’s meet Karen.  Karen is a pursuer.  She likes to deal with conflict in the moment.  Karen will...

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Do You Have Adult ADHD?

adult ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (also known as ADHD) is commonly diagnosed in children.  However, it’s also extremely common for adults to be diagnosed with Adult ADHD.  In the past, ADHD was overlooked or misdiagnosed, and so there are many adults who have it, yet have never been properly identified.  Other adults may have adult-onset ADHD, meaning it did not occur until they were older. Today I’m going to discuss ADHD symptoms, types, and treatment.  My hope is that if you identify with or relate to any of the following, that you may be able to pursue some help. Adult ADHD Symptoms ADHD symptoms can include lack of organization, losing things, and impulsive behavior (spending money, making rash decisions, etc.).  It...

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5 Ways to Guard Your Marriage from Infidelity

marriage counseling in carmel, indiana

We live in a day and age where it can be difficult to keep your marriage safe.  Everything is fast-paced, and we are too busy.  Sometimes the busyness of the day-to-day can make you forget to focus on and protect your marriage.  It's a very slippery slope when there are many outside pressures and temptations that can impact your marriage negatively.  Today I’m going to talk about some simple ways to guard against infidelity.  My hope is that you may see some areas where the two of you can work to improve and protect your marriage. Opposite Sex Boundaries Having boundaries in marriage is sometimes a controversial topic.  Boundaries are meant to protect yourselves and your marriage, not control or...

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5 Ways to Successfully Navigate Money Issues in Marriage

money marriage carmel indiana

Money is definitely the number one topic that couples fight about.  Why is this?  Money is complicated.  It’s necessary to have money in order to live.  It’s necessary to make money.  And it’s often difficult to be on the same page as your partner when it comes to your views about money. It’s very typical to have one person in a marriage that is the Saver, and one that is the Spender.  This automatically creates conflict.  When one person wants to save (for the future, emergencies, rainy days), and the other wants to live and enjoy life by spending money, a conflict will ensue. So how do you successfully navigate money in your marriage?  Today I’m going to discuss some...

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