10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming a Mom

mom

About a month ago, I became a mom to the most beautiful, sweet, and cuddly little girl.  She is our answer to so many prayers, and our wish come true. Before I became a mom, there are so many things I had heard about, and yet not experienced.  Today on the blog I would love to take some time to address some of these small, yet meaningful things I’ve learned. 1. Let It Go I am a self-proclaimed control freak.  I like order, schedules, and knowing what to expect.  Over the past month, to some extent, some of that has flown out the window.  While a schedule is still really important, this controller is learning to slowly let go of...

Read More

What is Transfer Addiction?

transfer addiction

There is a lot of talk in the news today about the opioid crisis and addiction.  Normal, everyday people are finding themselves addicted to pain pills—or worse.  Even if these individuals are lucky enough to get into recovery, there are still a lot of obstacles for them to face.  The possibility of relapse, the pressure to stay sober, and even the possibility of a transfer addiction. If you’re someone not familiar with the world of addiction, or even if you are, there’s still a good chance you may not have heard the term transfer addiction.  My hope today is to educate you on why it’s such a problem, and why getting into recovery is only half the battle for those...

Read More

How Do You Know if You Have Shame?

shame

Shame is a very popular topic nowadays.  Researcher Brene Brown has taken a very shameful topic like shame and turned it into normal dinner conversation. So what is it?  Shame is that warm feeling that washes over you when you feel embarrassed or not good enough.  It is the negative self-talk that tells you that you are a failure, worthless, and unlovable.  It can be triggered by an embarrassing moment, someone speaking to you in a condescending or shaming way, or by your own insecurities.  Shame can make you want to hide or be invisible to others. Bullying You may have a lot of shame if you were bullied or made fun of as a child.  When someone bullies you,...

Read More

What to do when it’s Hard to Make Friends

Friends

Let’s face it—it was soooooo much easier to make friends when we were little.  Our friendships back then were usually based on convenience.  For example, your friends were probably in your class at school, lived in your neighborhood, or went to your church.  We had instant access to our friends every day at school or at home.  We didn’t have to seek friends out. Even if you didn’t have a friend close by, all you had to do was say “hi” to someone on the playground, and you were instantly friends, even if only for the next 20 minutes.  Children approach friendships with innocence.  They haven’t been hurt, back-stabbed, or betrayed by friends.  They don’t understand quite yet that friendships...

Read More

Feel Like a Fraud? You May Have Imposter Syndrome

imposter syndrome

We all have times in our life when we feel like a fake.  Maybe we feel ill-equipped, not good enough, or have a fear of being exposed.  This is called Imposter Syndrome.  Imposter Syndrome is an inability to see your own accomplishments and successes, and instead fear that others will see through you.  People with Imposter Syndrome are often high-achievers who don’t believe their successes in life are due to their hard work, intelligence, creativity, or natural talents.  Instead, they fear that the accomplishments are only due to luck or circumstance. Imposter Syndrome is grounded in inadequacy.  For example, I can give you the perfect example of Imposter Syndrome since I am writing this blog.  While writing, I may start...

Read More

Where Does Shame Come From?

shame

Shame is a very hot-button topic right now.   Researchers like Brene Brown are taking a topic that was once so secretive and making it normal dinner conversation.  The interesting thing about shame is, the more you talk about it, the more its power over you diminishes. I often have clients ask me where their shame came from.  More often than not, it comes from your family of origin and upbringing.  It can be caused by bullying, unhealthy parenting, or chronic embarrassment. Messages like “You’re not good enough”, “You’re stupid”, or “You’re bad” (whether actually verbalized or implied) can create shame.  These messages create a negative self-talk in your head, that convinces you that you’re a failure and you’ll never be...

Read More