Let’s Talk About Attachment Theory: Relationships & Triggers

Couple experiencing attachment issues in relationship

If you have been following along in our most recent blogs, we have been talking all about attachment theory. In the last blog, I introduced the four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. In today’s blog we will expound on how each attachment style manifests in relationships. And just for clarity, I mean all relationships—relationships between spouses, between friends, between co-workers. No relationship is exempt. Additionally, we will explore common attachment triggers and how insecure attachment styles can move toward secure attachment.  Manifestations of Attachment Styles in Relationships  Secure Attachment  Secure attachment is the aim of healthy relationships according to attachment theory. Securely attached adults are aware of their own emotions and emotional needs. They have established ways of...

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Why Premarital Counseling Should Be In Your Wedding Budget

premarital counseling

According to a CNN report published in June of 2023, the national average wedding cost was $29,000. Wedding vendors are expected to increase their prices to meet economic demands, causing the overall cost of weddings to rise in 2024.  If you or someone you know is engaged and preparing for marriage, consider the value premarital counseling can have on the marriage beyond the wedding day. I’m not saying that the other expenses involved in planning a wedding are frivolous—my husband and I don’t regret the things we chose to invest in for our big day.  What I am saying is that allocating a portion of funds toward premarital counseling is an investment worth making during your engagement season! Premarital counseling...

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Courageous Beginnings: 10 Reasons to Start Therapy Today

New Beginnings

Do I need therapy? How can therapy help me?  If you’ve ever asked these questions, you’re not alone. Therapy is one of those words with many preconceived ideas attached to it. Some think therapy is only for people with severe mental health diagnoses. Others think therapy is only for crises or processing major life events. And some think therapy is a sign of weakness. I hope to offer some brief thoughts on the value of therapy, and some reasons to start therapy today. “There will be moments when you bloom fully and then wilt, only to bloom again. If we can learn anything from flowers it is that resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying.” These...

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What Type of Therapy Are You Looking For?

therapy

Whenever I have a potential client referral reach out, it’s important to me to screen them to ensure I am the right fit for the person.  Sometimes I will ask questions, such as “What is bringing you to therapy?”, “What style of therapy are you hoping for?”, and “What are you hoping to work on?”  These questions help me quickly see if I may or may not be a quality match for the client. Why is this so important?  There are so many different types and styles of therapy!  Sometimes what a client is looking for is not a great match for my style.  And that’s okay! Today I’m going to talk about some of the personal styles of therapy...

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Stages of Change

change

We all have moments in life where we decide to make a change.  Sometimes it’s a career change, a relationship change, or even changing something about ourselves (communication, patterns of behavior, a bad habit, etc.).  Whether you realize it or not, there are often certain, intentional steps that you take when you decide to make a change in your life.  These steps are officially referred to as Prochaska and DiClemente's Stages of Change Model. Today on the blog, I’m going to talk about the Stages of Change and how knowing what they are can make you more intentional in shifting your life in a different direction.  While reading, you may realize that you are actually in one of the stages,...

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How to Survive the Highs and Lows of Therapy

therapy

If you’ve ever been to therapy, you know that sometimes it can be a bit of an emotional roller coaster.  Therapy can start off really good, but it can quickly take a nosedive.  Sometimes you feel relief, and then it turns to pain and grief. If you’ve not been to therapy before, consider yourself warned.  This isn’t meant to deter you from starting, but rather to be completely transparent about what therapy is and isn’t, and to give you realistic expectations. I once had a client come in for three sessions, and leave feeling on top of the world.  She would email me, and say things like, “This is wonderful, I feel so great, and I can’t believe I didn’t...

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Why I Think You Should Start Therapy this Year

Therapy

Happy New Year from Journey to Joy Counseling! Are you one of those people that sets goals for the New Year?  I’m not talking about just making New Year's resolutions, but setting actual goals.  A resolution is only a desire to do or not do something.  Resolutions, while good in theory, don’t usually (statistically) work out.  According to Forbes, around 8% of New Year’s resolutions are actually achieved.   That means 92% fail! Setting goals can help you hone in on a specific achievement.  Goals represent ambition, and they are dreams.  They create direction and guide us to the desired outcome.  Goals often bring along permanent changes.  Goals are often more likely to be achieved than just resolutions. This New Year,...

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6 Ways We Are Perpetuating the Mental Health Stigma

Mental health

Although we’ve made a TON of progress around the stigma of mental health, we still have a lot more work to do. Today I’m going to talk about some of the most common things I hear from people who are resistant to therapy and treatment.  My hope is that if you have ever said any of these things, that you will reconsider taking care of your mental and emotional health.  It’s imperative that we stop the stigma so that those who need help can get it….without fear of condemnation, shame, or judgment. “I must be crazy to go to therapy” Contrary to popular belief, the people who walk through my door for counseling are not crazy.  In fact, many of...

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What to do When Therapy Sucks

therapy

If you’ve ever been to therapy, you probably know it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.  Sure, there are many sessions that are productive and very positive.  But oftentimes there are sessions that are painful, raw, and emotional.  Today I’m going to focus on those sessions, why they occur, and what to do if you experience one. If you’ve never been to therapy but are contemplating it, I want to be honest with you: Sometimes therapy sucks.  That’s just the plain truth.  That is not meant to discourage you in any way from starting, but rather to give you a realistic view of what to expect.  My hope is that you will understand that the investment is yourself is worth any...

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12 Reasons Why Marriage Counseling Can Help

marriage counseling

We live in a time where it’s very easy to put the most important things on the back burner.  When we look at our list of priorities, often nurturing our marriage gets pushed to the bottom of the list.  Today I want to talk to you completely unfiltered about why Marriage Counseling can help you. The reasons that couples start Marriage Counseling can look different from couple to couple.  I’m going to attempt to address some of the most popular reasons why couples come through my door: Communication problems Do you find yourself struggling to communicate with your spouse?  Do you have the same fights over and over again, with no resolution?  Marriage Counseling can help you learn to talk...

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