grief Archives - Journey to Joy Counseling

How Miscarriage Impacts a Marriage

April 3, 2019

Finding out that you’re expecting a baby is undoubtedly one of the most joyful things in life you will ever experience. You may start imagining what your life is going to look like in a few months and dream about this little one. You may choose names and a nursery theme. But for 1 in 5 women, these dreams will not come to fruition. You discover at some point in your pregnancy that your precious little one is no longer alive. You’ve suffered a miscarriage. Miscarriages are hell on earth. They are the loss of life, the loss of a dream, and the loss of a family. Experiencing a miscarriage can be extremely hard on a marriage as well. Today,...

How to Heal After a Break-Up

February 20, 2019

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| Divorce, Relationships

Breaks-ups are hard and they are painful. So often people just want us to move on, forget about the other person, and drown our sorrows in a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. But if you’ve ever been through a bad break-up, you know those things are impossible, and that ice cream only puts a temporary Band-Aid on your hurt. Today I’m going to talk about moving on after a difficult break-up. I know these words may not “fix” how you feel, but I hope that they give you some validation and hope that things will be better eventually. I also want to provide you with some simple tips to help cope with your big feelings and pain right...

“It’s OK That You’re Not OK”: A Book Review on Grief

January 23, 2019

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| Grief

Last fall, one of my clients recommended a book to me. My client had suffered a humongous loss, and someone had given her this book entitled “It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn't Understand” by Megan Devine. So I grabbed a copy and read it on a flight, often with tears streaming down my face. Megan Devine is a therapist, just like me. We both have around a decade of experience. And like Ms. Devine, I thought I understood grief and loss. Until I experienced 2 major back-to-back losses in a span of 10 months. Ms. Devine lost her partner, Matt, in a drowning accident in 2009. None of her training, experience,...

The Long Goodbye: Grieving Someone with Alzheimer’s

January 9, 2019

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| Grief

My husband and I have been binge-watching the TV show The West Wing. If you don’t know about this fictional show from the late ’90s, it’s awesome! It’s about the behind-the-scenes of the presidency, including the staff and their roles, and all the many stressful things the West Wing deals with while the rest of us go about our day. Recently, one of the episodes we watched was about the Press Secretary and her father’s battle with Alzheimer’s disease. The name of the episode was “The Long Goodbye”. This episode not only made me think about my own experiences with Alzheimer’s, but also my clients. I have so many clients who have loved ones that have received this diagnosis. Caring...

What to do When You Experience Grief

September 12, 2018

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| Grief

A little bit of self-disclosure here: I have experienced a lot of grief in the past few years of my life. Prior to these losses, I felt like grief and loss was a topic that I fully understood, and could help others process in their own lives. With the losses in my own life, my empathy and understanding have reached a whole other level I didn’t know possible. I truly believe that God can use hard and awful things to give us the ability to help others. Two years ago I wrote a blog on grief that you can read here. While many of the things I talked about are still true, I wanted to expand on a few things...

What is Ambiguous Loss?

November 29, 2017

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| Grief

Have you ever experienced a loss in your life, that wasn’t an actual death of a friend or loved one? This feeling and experience is called Ambiguous Loss. Ambiguous Loss is best described as a loss that isn’t concrete. Ambiguous Loss will often lead to you experiencing the Stages of Grief. The stages are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and (eventually) Acceptance. Some of the most common causes of Ambiguous Loss are job loss, divorces, miscarriages, illnesses, and trauma. Here are some examples of what Ambiguous Loss may look and feel like: A new client starts therapy because a loved one disappeared in a drowning accident. The body of this loved one was never recovered. However, the family is moving forward...

Do You Know How to Grieve?

September 20, 2017

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| Grief

I’ve recently experienced the loss of a loved one in my life. I’m sure many of you can relate to how it feels. It’s the kind of loss that makes you realize that nothing is ever going to be the same. The kind of loss that changes who you are forever. I’m realizing that grief is fluid. It ebbs and flows. It hits out of nowhere and it hits hard. A song, a memory, even driving by a particular restaurant can trigger tears. Sometimes it even feels weird to laugh or be happy. It’s hard when the rest of the world continues on while your world has literally stopped. I wanted to share with you something that’s been helpful for...