Are you Married to a Narcissist?

narcissist

Have you ever noticed that your spouse is selfish, controlling, and manipulative?  Do you feel like they never take your feelings into consideration?  Do you feel dismissed by them?  If so, you may be married to a narcissist.  Narcissism is a word that is often thrown around, but today I want to define what it actually is and give you tips for self-care if you recognize that you are married to a narcissist. What is Narcissism? Narcissists are self-absorbed, have a lack of empathy for others, and are grandiose.  They are often described as being selfish, controlling, manipulative, and entitled.  Arrogance is also a key trait.  Narcissists believe they are unique and special.  They may believe that they are the...

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What are The 5 Love Languages?

The 5 Love Languages

Happy Valentine’s Day from Journey to Joy!  Since love is in the air, today I’m going to talk about ways to improve your relationships and love your partner better.  Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a very popular book called The 5 Love Languages.  The 5 Love Languages include Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Gifts.  The premise behind the 5 Love Languages is that we all have 1 (sometimes 2) ways that we prefer to show love and be shown love by others.  This is very important information to know about yourself and your partner, because you may not be on the same page.  Here is what the 5 Love Languages look like: Acts of Service...

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Let’s Talk About Sex

sex

Can it be awkward to talk to your spouse about your sex?  Absolutely!  We all want to think that we have everything figured out sexually and that our spouses are completely satisfied.  Many couples enter into a marriage expecting that things in the bedroom will just happen or have a way of working themselves out.  Obviously, this is not always the case. I often ask couples to look at it from this perspective: Would you rather endure a few possibly uncomfortable conversations or a lifetime of being unhappy or unsatisfied in your sex life?  By following these suggestions and opening dialogue between you and your spouse, you can assure you are moving intimacy in a more enjoyable and fulfilling direction...

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7 Effective Ways to Rebuild Trust in Marriage

trust

Sometimes people we love and care about the most will hurt us by breaking our trust.  Sometimes we end up being the ones doing the hurting.  When trust is broken in a marriage, it’s important to  repair the relationship by being intentional.  Whether the trust was broke by lying, infidelity, deceit, words, or back-stabbing, it’s important that the rebuilding process begins immediately. Increase and improve communication It may be hard to talk to your spouse, especially if you are the one who was hurt.  When your partner breaks trust, it’s important to talk about what happened and why.  Bad things can happen when you stuff feelings, build walls up, or avoid the elephant in the room.  Because of the hurt,...

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Where Are We Going? A Faith-Based Perspective

faith

I remember in the months leading up to my wedding, during premarital counseling at church, a dear friend and mentor gave me a very important piece of wisdom.  He said, “One of the most important reasons marriage exists is to help get each other to Heaven”.  What an amazing concept!  Since that day, my perspective on marriage has changed completely.  Instead of just being a partner with my husband, I now feel a responsibility to make sure I am doing everything in my power to encourage and grow his relationship with God. Can you imagine the transformation that could take place if we all viewed our marriages in this way?  Millions of people say in their wedding vows “Til death...

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Marriage: Are You Friends or Enemies?

marriage

All too often I see couples who come into my office with their marriage in trouble and on the verge of divorce.  They come to counseling in an attempt to save their marriage.  You can usually spot these couples from a mile away.  They sit on opposite sides of the couch (not touching AT ALL!), usually have their arms folded, and the moment they start talking, everything is the other person's fault. Somewhere along the way, they stopped being each other’s friend and instead started to view one another as enemies.  They no longer look at the marriage as a team effort.  Any positive feelings that they once had about their spouse are long gone.  How does a marriage get...

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Cheap and Free Date Nights

date

Date nights are a fun way to reconnect with your partner.  Often in sessions, I hear things like “We just don’t have time”, or “We can’t find a baby-sitter”, or “We don’t have the extra money”.  If you’ve ever said any of the above, please keep reading! I’m going to prove that date nights don’t have to be expensive.  The first thing I want you to try is to Google “Cheap date nights in (insert your city and state)”.  Just in Indy alone, there are dozens of websites with ideas for cheap date nights.  In addition to this, Groupon/Living Social are wonderful resources to get local deals on restaurants, shows, and activities...with huge discounts! Think outside of the box.  Dinner...

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The Power of Prayer in a Marriage

prayer

We pray when we are at church, before we eat, and at bedtime with children. Often we pray for direction and guidance for careers, our personal battles, and our enemies. We use prayer for healing, to change in the world, and to ask for miracles. But how often do we pray for our own spouse? In your day to day living, your spouse is the person you probably complain about the most, argue with the most, and the one that does the most things that drive you absolutely crazy. In addition to this, they are the ones that get taken for granted, in both your life and your prayer life. Imagine the transformation that could take place if you made...

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