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How to Love Yourself

February 13, 2019
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| Boundaries, Perfectionism, Relationships, Self-Esteem
love yourself

Happy Valentine’s Day from Journey to Joy!  As wonderful as this Hallmark holiday full of love can be, it can also be really painful for some.  Sometimes expectations are not met, no effort is made, and you may feel hurt, let down, or disappointed.  It’s hard to be single this week, and it’s hard to be in a relationship/married if you have a partner that doesn’t try.  If you feel sad about this week, it’s okay.  You aren't alone. What I want to remind you, is that you have to take care of you.  This blog is not about others loving you, it is about you learning to love yourself. A lot of people struggle with loving themselves.  We are...

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Why I Think You Should Consider Premarital Counseling Before Your Wedding

February 6, 2019
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| Marriage, Premarital Counseling
premarital

Pretty soon we will be starting wedding season!  It’s hard to believe that spring will be around the corner.  This is also the time of year when many couples have gotten engaged and are also planning a wedding for this year or next.  If you find yourself engaged, I want to take some time to advocate for the importance of Premarital Counseling.  So much time goes into the planning of the wedding, but what about planning for the marriage?  What if you spent time planning for your lifetime together, in order to address any problem areas before you say “I do”?  I think it’s important, especially with our marriages, to be proactive versus reactive with addressing problems. Why Premarital Counseling?...

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Do You Live in a Depressed House?

January 30, 2019
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| Depression, Family, Marriage, Teenagers
depressed

This time of year can be especially difficult for those who are prone to Depression.  Lately, I’ve noticed an influx of clients who are really depressed and struggling with the cold, dreary days we’ve been experiencing.  Whether it’s Depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or both—it can be hard to function when the days are so short and gray. Have you ever heard of a depressed house?  It’s a household that has one or more people who struggle with Depression.  When even one person in a house struggles with Depression, it changes the whole dynamic of a house.  So how can you help your household? When You Are the Depressed Person Depression can look very different from person to person.  For some,...

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“It’s OK That You’re Not OK”: A Book Review on Grief

January 23, 2019
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| Grief
grief

Last fall, one of my clients recommended a book to me.  My client had suffered a humongous loss, and someone had given her this book entitled “It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn't Understand” by Megan Devine.  So I grabbed a copy and read it on a flight, often with tears streaming down my face. Megan Devine is a therapist, just like me.  We both have around a decade of experience.  And like Ms. Devine, I thought I understood grief and loss.  Until I experienced 2 major back-to-back losses in a span of 10 months. Ms. Devine lost her partner, Matt, in a drowning accident in 2009.  None of her training, experience,...

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Why January is Called “Divorce Month”

January 16, 2019
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| Divorce, Marriage
divorce

January is a hard month for multiple reasons—it’s cold, dreary, there is not a lot to look forward to, and the holidays are over.  January is also known unofficially as “divorce month”—the month where more divorces are filed than any other month of the year. The first Monday after New Year’s Day sees a significant hike in divorce filings.  For some couples, they stay together for the holidays to create one last “normal” Christmas.  Oftentimes this is done for the sake of the children and/or extended family.  Sometimes it is because the couple wanted to give it one last push at the end of the year to see if things could be fixed.  Also, since the New Year is associated...

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The Long Goodbye: Grieving Someone with Alzheimer’s

January 9, 2019
| 4 Comments
| Grief
Alzheimer's

My husband and I have been binge-watching the TV show The West Wing.  If you don’t know about this fictional show from the late ’90s, it’s awesome!  It’s about the behind-the-scenes of the presidency, including the staff and their roles, and all the many stressful things the West Wing deals with while the rest of us go about our day.  Recently, one of the episodes we watched was about the Press Secretary and her father’s battle with Alzheimer’s disease.  The name of the episode was “The Long Goodbye”. This episode not only made me think about my own experiences with Alzheimer’s, but also my clients.  I have so many clients who have loved ones that have received this diagnosis.  Caring...

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Why I Think You Should Start Therapy this Year

January 2, 2019
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| Counseling, Goals
Therapy

Happy New Year from Journey to Joy Counseling! Are you one of those people that sets goals for the New Year?  I’m not talking about just making New Year's resolutions, but setting actual goals.  A resolution is only a desire to do or not do something.  Resolutions, while good in theory, don’t usually (statistically) work out.  According to Forbes, around 8% of New Year’s resolutions are actually achieved.   That means 92% fail! Setting goals can help you hone in on a specific achievement.  Goals represent ambition, and they are dreams.  They create direction and guide us to the desired outcome.  Goals often bring along permanent changes.  Goals are often more likely to be achieved than just resolutions. This New Year,...

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How to Take Care of Yourself During the Holiday Season

November 28, 2018
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| Boundaries
holiday

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Journey to Joy!  As wonderful as the holiday season is, it can also be really, really hard on people.  Today I want to take some time to address ways to take care of YOU during this season—despite what may be going on around you.  I firmly believe that we can all not only survive this holiday season but also thrive during it. Boundaries About a year ago, I wrote a blog called How to Set Boundaries During the Holidays.  I talk so much about boundary-setting during the holiday season because boundaries are so incredibly important.  If you don’t set boundaries you end up frustrated, anxious, hurt, and disappointed (at yourself and others).  When you...

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What Does it Really Mean to Have Gratitude?

November 21, 2018
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| Gratitude
gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving from Journey to Joy Counseling!  This week is full of cleaning, shopping, preparing, and cooking for many people.  It’s easy in the busyness to get lost in the planning and lose sight of what this holiday is all about: Gratitude. According to the Oxford Dictionary, gratitude is “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness”.  But what does it really mean to have gratitude?  How do you work to increase your gratitude?  This week we are going to discuss what gratitude really means, and what it looks like in action. Be Present Gratitude forces you to be present, and to see things in the here and now.  When you are grateful, you...

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Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Propose

November 14, 2018
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| Marriage, Premarital Counseling, Relationships
propose

We are coming into the holiday season, which means that lots of people will be getting engaged soon.  If you plan to propose soon or believe your partner may be, I want you to take a second to consider if this is the right fit for you, or even the right time.  In a time period where the divorce rate for first marriages is 50% and rising, you want to make sure you are making the right decision for both of you. As someone who works with a lot of couples in many different stages of relationships (dating, engaged, married, divorcing), I meet a lot of couples who rushed into marriage without understanding the commitment they were making.  My hope...

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