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Are You in an Enmeshed Relationship?

August 29, 2018

| Boundaries, Codependency, Family, Relationships

Have you ever been in a relationship that controls you? Have you ever put someone else’s wants and needs before your own? Is it possible that you have lost your own sense of identity? Do you feel guilt and angst over letting another person down? If so, you may be in an enmeshed relationship. What is Enmeshment? When you are enmeshed with someone, you can become consumed with the other person. There are no clear boundaries within the relationship, and any boundaries that do exist are permeable. It’s very common for a lot of over-sharing to occur in an enmeshed relationship. It may be impossible for each person to have their own individuality and instead feel defined by the relationship. ...

How Do You Know if You Have Shame?

August 22, 2018

| No Comments

| Shame

Shame is a very popular topic nowadays. Researcher Brene Brown has taken a very shameful topic like shame and turned it into normal dinner conversation. So what is it? Shame is that warm feeling that washes over you when you feel embarrassed or not good enough. It is the negative self-talk that tells you that you are a failure, worthless, and unlovable. It can be triggered by an embarrassing moment, someone speaking to you in a condescending or shaming way, or by your own insecurities. Shame can make you want to hide or be invisible to others. Bullying You may have a lot of shame if you were bullied or made fun of as a child. When someone bullies you,...

What to do When Therapy Sucks

August 15, 2018

| No Comments

| Counseling

If you’ve ever been to therapy, you probably know it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Sure, there are many sessions that are productive and very positive. But oftentimes there are sessions that are painful, raw, and emotional. Today I’m going to focus on those sessions, why they occur, and what to do if you experience one. If you’ve never been to therapy but are contemplating it, I want to be honest with you: Sometimes therapy sucks. That’s just the plain truth. That is not meant to discourage you in any way from starting, but rather to give you a realistic view of what to expect. My hope is that you will understand that the investment is yourself is worth any...

How to Speak Your Child’s Love Language

August 8, 2018

| No Comments

| Family, Relationships

Just like adults, kids also love to be shown love in their preferred Love Language. A Love Language is a term to describe the ways that we enjoy receiving love and also showing it to others. When you are purposeful in speaking your child’s Love Language, you are sending the messages of “I get you”, “You’re important to me” and “I see you”. Sometimes it can be hard to speak your child’s language if it is different than your own, and you have to really be intentional. Today I’m going to discuss the 5 Love Languages as they pertain to children. My hope is to give you some things to think about, implement, and some resources to help you learn...

What is Counterdependency, and how is it Related to Codependency?

August 1, 2018

| 1 Comment

| Codependency, Relationships

If you’ve not heard of Counterdependency, you’re actually not alone. Most people I encounter have never heard of this pattern of behavior, which is in a similar yet opposite realm of Codependency. It’s important to note that Counterdependency can be just as detrimental to relationships as Codependency. So before I talk about Counterdependency, let’s talk about Codependency. What is Codependency? Codependency is a pattern of unhealthy behaviors relating to rescuing others. Codependents struggle to say “no” due to feeling guilty or that they are letting others down. They will over-extend themselves to make others happy. They are people-pleasers. Codependents have poor boundaries and take on other’s problems and emotions. They will over-involve themselves in order to “help” others. They neglect...

What to do when it’s Hard to Make Friends

July 25, 2018

| No Comments

| Relationships, Shame

Let’s face it—it was soooooo much easier to make friends when we were little. Our friendships back then were usually based on convenience. For example, your friends were probably in your class at school, lived in your neighborhood, or went to your church. We had instant access to our friends every day at school or at home. We didn’t have to seek friends out. Even if you didn’t have a friend close by, all you had to do was say “hi” to someone on the playground, and you were instantly friends, even if only for the next 20 minutes. Children approach friendships with innocence. They haven’t been hurt, back-stabbed, or betrayed by friends. They don’t understand quite yet that friendships...

15 Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude

July 18, 2018

| No Comments

| Anxiety, Depression, Gratitude

Life can be hard, and it can be very easy to focus on everything that goes wrong. Sometimes it is a choice to be positive and to focus on the blessings we have. Practicing gratitude is an everyday decision to focus on the little things, and not take them for granted. Gratitude is "the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful". It’s reminding ourselves that despite everything that may be going wrong, there are many things going right. Gratitude has many health benefits, including providing help for Depression and Anxiety. When you focus on the positive and being grateful, your brain produces feel-good hormones like dopamine and serotonin. Practicing gratitude also teaches you to reframe negative thoughts into positive...

5 Ways to Guard Your Marriage from Infidelity

July 11, 2018

| No Comments

| Boundaries, Infidelity, Marriage

We live in a day and age where it can be difficult to keep your marriage safe. Everything is fast-paced, and we are too busy. Sometimes the busyness of the day-to-day can make you forget to focus on and protect your marriage. It's a very slippery slope when there are many outside pressures and temptations that can impact your marriage negatively. Today I’m going to talk about some simple ways to guard against infidelity. My hope is that you may see some areas where the two of you can work to improve and protect your marriage. Opposite Sex Boundaries Having boundaries in marriage is sometimes a controversial topic. Boundaries are meant to protect yourselves and your marriage, not control or...

5 Ways to Successfully Navigate Money Issues in Marriage

July 4, 2018

| No Comments

| Communication, Finances, Marriage

Money is definitely the number one topic that couples fight about. Why is this? Money is complicated. It’s necessary to have money in order to live. It’s necessary to make money. And it’s often difficult to be on the same page as your partner when it comes to your views about money. It’s very typical to have one person in a marriage that is the Saver, and one that is the Spender. This automatically creates conflict. When one person wants to save (for the future, emergencies, rainy days), and the other wants to live and enjoy life by spending money, a conflict will ensue. So how do you successfully navigate money in your marriage? Today I’m going to discuss some...

When Depression Feels Different

June 27, 2018

| No Comments

| Depression

If you’ve ever seen a commercial for an anti-depressant medication, you probably remember something along the lines of a sad person walking around, with a gray cloud following them. And if you’ve ever experienced a textbook type of depression, you may be able to relate to that a little. Loss of interest, little to no motivation, and extreme sadness are all definitely depression symptoms. But what about other types and symptoms of depression? What about the type where you “function” but still don’t feel well? What about the type where it feels like you’re not an active participant in your own life? Or when it feels like it’s impossible to focus? Or you just feel angry all the time? Today...

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Kyle Sebestyen Photography

Blog

Are You in an Enmeshed Relationship?

How Do You Know if You Have Shame?

What to do When Therapy Sucks

How to Speak Your Child’s Love Language

What is Counterdependency, and how is it Related to Codependency?

What to do when it’s Hard to Make Friends

15 Simple Ways to Practice Gratitude

5 Ways to Guard Your Marriage from Infidelity

5 Ways to Successfully Navigate Money Issues in Marriage

When Depression Feels Different

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