Request An Appointment
(765) 432-9238
Menu

Blog

Are You a Good Friend?

April 11, 2018
| No Comments
| Boundaries, Communication, Relationships
friend

What makes someone a good friend?  A good friend is reliable, trustworthy, and honest.  They love you enough to be a listening ear, but care enough to call you out on unhealthy behaviors.  They live life with you in community through the ups and downs.  They’re present and show forgiveness and grace. We all have those “friends”.  You know what I mean.  The friends who are flaky, unreliable, and unavailable.  The one who commits to plans, but you know will probably back out last second.  Maybe the friend is a surface-level friend, meaning that you only talk about the weather and your kids’ activities, but never anything deep.  What about that friend that takes and takes, but never gives in...

Read More

Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) and Family Roles

April 4, 2018
| No Comments
| Addiction, Alcohol, Family
ACOA

If you were raised in a home where one or both parents were alcoholics (or even addicts), you are probably an Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACOA).  ACOA’s are a group of individuals who have unique, and sometimes dysfunctional ways of living and behaving due to their upbringing.  There are also some specific family roles ACOA’s may take on when they are growing up. When you live in a home with an alcoholic or addict parent, life may feel unpredictable.  You may feel that you walk on eggshells all of the time.  What was okay yesterday may not be okay today.  ACOA’s may avoid conflict because there was so much in their family of origin.  They may struggle to be...

Read More

8 Fair Fighting Rules for Couples

March 28, 2018
| 2 Comments
| Communication, Marriage, Relationships
fair fighting

All couples fight.  It’s inevitable!  But do you and your partner know how to fight fair?  This week on the blog I’m going to discuss some Rules for Fair Fighting.  It’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, and say and do things that are hurtful and damaging.  The following Fair Fighting Rules can help your disagreements be productive and conflict resolved quicker: I-Messages The best way to talk about Fair Fighting Rules is to discuss the way you start a conversation.  I talk a lot with couples about the difference between an I-Message and a You-Message.  A You-Message is blaming, attacking, and critical.  It sounds a little like this: “You never take the trash out...

Read More

Do You Have Good Emotional Intelligence?

March 21, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Feelings
emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence (also called EQ) is a hot-button topic right now.  Emotional Intelligence is the ability to empathize with others, read the room, and also be in touch with your own emotions.  I’m going to talk about why Emotional Intelligence is so important, and how you can improve your EQ to be more successful. What is Emotional Intelligence? When you walk into a room, can you “read” the room?  Can you pick up on social cues from others?  Are you observant?  Can you imagine what it’s like to walk in another person’s shoes (empathize)?  Do you understand what emotions you feel and why?  If you can answer yes to these questions, you probably have high EQ. EQ is the ability...

Read More

Are You Codependent (And Don’t Know It)?

March 14, 2018
| 1 Comment
| Codependency
codependency

Codependency is a topic I talk a lot about in therapy sessions.  Many people I work with are codependent, and actually don’t realize it.  Often this is because they’ve never heard of codependency, or they have heard of it and don’t realize what it actually is.  This week on the blog, I will be discussing what it means to be codependent, and how you can be healthier in your relationships. Causes of Codependency Codependency was first identified in the 1950’s as a role that many people fall into when they are married to or close to someone in active addiction.  Also referred to as a “co-addict”, codependents often enable the addict to continue using, without actually realizing it! If you...

Read More

12 Reasons Why Marriage Counseling Can Help

March 7, 2018
| No Comments
| Counseling, Marriage, Relationships
marriage counseling

We live in a time where it’s very easy to put the most important things on the back burner.  When we look at our list of priorities, often nurturing our marriage gets pushed to the bottom of the list.  Today I want to talk to you completely unfiltered about why Marriage Counseling can help you. The reasons that couples start Marriage Counseling can look different from couple to couple.  I’m going to attempt to address some of the most popular reasons why couples come through my door: Communication problems Do you find yourself struggling to communicate with your spouse?  Do you have the same fights over and over again, with no resolution?  Marriage Counseling can help you learn to talk...

Read More

What is Anxiety? Part 2

February 28, 2018
| No Comments
| Anxiety
anxiety

Last week, I introduced you to what Anxiety can look and feel like.  Anxiety manifests in physical, emotional, and cognitive symptoms.  If you missed last week’s blog, click here to read it. Anxiety convinces an individual that fixating on an event will help them feel control over it.  This couldn’t be further from the truth.  One of my favorite books about Anxiety is “Calm My Anxious Heart” by Linda Dillow.  Dillow writes “Waiting for the ‘What Ifs’ of life, for what might happen, causes the sturdiest of hearts to be anxious.” This week, I will be talking about where Anxiety comes from, and treatment options that are available.  Anxiety can look and feel different to each person.  Please keep in...

Read More

What is Anxiety? Part 1

February 21, 2018
| No Comments
| Anxiety
anxiety

Over the next 2 weeks at Journey to Joy, I will be discussing Anxiety: What it is, what it feels like, the impacts, causes, and treatment.  It’s very common for people to experience Anxiety, but not realize that it is actually Anxiety.  Often they refer to it as “anticipation”, “nervousness”, or just “stress”.  Anxiety can differ from person to person, but there are a few symptoms that are always consistent. According to the DSM-5, which is the diagnostic tool that mental health professionals use, certain criteria must be present for a clinical diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  The criteria include: Excessive worry about a variety of topics, activities, or events for 6 months or more. The worry is difficult to...

Read More

What are The 5 Love Languages?

February 14, 2018
| No Comments
| Marriage, Relationships
The 5 Love Languages

Happy Valentine’s Day from Journey to Joy!  Since love is in the air, today I’m going to talk about ways to improve your relationships and love your partner better.  Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a very popular book called The 5 Love Languages.  The 5 Love Languages include Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Gifts.  The premise behind the 5 Love Languages is that we all have 1 (sometimes 2) ways that we prefer to show love and be shown love by others.  This is very important information to know about yourself and your partner, because you may not be on the same page.  Here is what the 5 Love Languages look like: Acts of Service...

Read More

Let’s Talk About Sex

February 7, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
sex

Can it be awkward to talk to your spouse about your sex?  Absolutely!  We all want to think that we have everything figured out sexually and that our spouses are completely satisfied.  Many couples enter into a marriage expecting that things in the bedroom will just happen or have a way of working themselves out.  Obviously, this is not always the case. I often ask couples to look at it from this perspective: Would you rather endure a few possibly uncomfortable conversations or a lifetime of being unhappy or unsatisfied in your sex life?  By following these suggestions and opening dialogue between you and your spouse, you can assure you are moving intimacy in a more enjoyable and fulfilling direction...

Read More