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How to Set Boundaries with Teens

June 20, 2018
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| Boundaries, Teenagers
boundaries with teens

If you are a parent to a teen or preteen, you know these years with them are fun and challenging.  From hormones to peer pressure, to staying up on the newest social media trend, this time is hard on parents!  If you struggle with boundaries yourself, it can be hard to know when and how to implement them with your teen.  Today on the blog I’m going to tackle boundaries with teens, and why they are so important to set. What are Boundaries? Boundaries are bumpers we put in place to protect ourselves and to protect our loved ones.  When we set boundaries with others, we teach them how we want to be treated.  We also communicate what we will...

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5 Reasons Why You Should Slow Down that Engagement

June 13, 2018
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| Marriage, Premarital Counseling
engagement premarital counseling Carmel Indiana

It’s wedding season, which means we are in the thick of bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and wedding ceremonies.  I’ve even noticed an uptick in conversations about weddings in my counseling sessions!  People who are not yet married are seeing all the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, and often wishing that could be them.  Being around weddings can make women especially dream about their own engagement and wedding. While this time of the year is sweet and lovely and full of fairy tales, it’s also important to discuss the reality of a marriage.  Once a couple is engaged, there is often a rush to the church alter, without a lot of time to process the leap both are getting...

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What is SYMBIS for Marriage, and Why is it Important?

June 6, 2018
| 5 Comments
| Marriage, Premarital Counseling, Relationships
SYMBIS premarital counseling Carmel Indiana

I’m very excited to announce that I recently became a certified instructor for SYMBIS.  SYMBIS stands for Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts.  It is an evidenced-based premarital counseling tool developed by authors and therapists Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. What is SYMBIS? SYMBIS is an online tool that allows engaged or newly married couples (or even couples who have been married for a while!) to log on individually and take an assessment.  The assessment has many questions about personality, upbringing, attitudes towards money, sex, and much, much more.  It then creates a print out with the results.  I receive the results and set up a minimum of 6 sessions to go over any strengths, weaknesses, or caution flags that...

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12 Toxic Habits That Kill Relationships

May 30, 2018
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| Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
habits

We all have unhealthy habits in our romantic relationships or marriages.  However, there are definitely some behaviors that are considered more “toxic” or dangerous to the relationship long-term.  If you find yourself or your partner falling into any of the following habits, you may want to consider reaching out for help!  Many of the habits listed below could lead to major issues and a toxic relationship between the two of you. Control Do you have equal power in your relationship?  There are a few reasons why this is important.  One, you need to have equal say and decision-making power.  Two, your relationship is a team.  If you find yourself having less than 50% power, it may be time to re-evaluate....

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What to Do Immediately After an Affair Is Discovered

May 23, 2018
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| Infidelity, Marriage
affair

When an affair is discovered, it is devastating.  It’s not unusual to feel in shock, anger, rage, depression, or even hopeless.  Sometimes the initial shock can be paralyzing.  Every person’s initial reaction is a little different.  This blog, in particular, is for those whose spouses have committed infidelity. There’s not necessarily a handbook or step-by-step manual of what to do next.  What I can tell you is that there are some steps that need to be taken quickly.  The following tips are what I have learned in my years of practice, and what I would encourage anyone to do should you discover your partner has been unfaithful. Disclaimer: Keep in mind, if you are in an abusive situation, these do...

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10 Easy Ways to Increase Intimacy

May 16, 2018
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| Marriage, Relationships, Sex
intimacy

It can be very difficult after so much time together to keep intimacy as a priority.  Between kids, your career, extra-curricular activities, and running a household, oftentimes intimacy can easily get put on the back burner.  If you find yourself in a rut, I want to suggest a few ways to improve your communication and work towards better intimacy.  It can improve with intentionality and time! First, let’s define what intimacy is and isn’t.  Intimacy is sex, but that’s not all.  Intimacy is the deep, emotional connection you have with your partner.  It’s the stability, the comfort, and the familiar.  Intimacy is knowing each other inside and out, and accepting each other—flaws and all!  Intimacy makes a healthy sexual life...

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Lessons From My Mom

May 9, 2018
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| Family, Relationships
mom

It’s Mother’s Day week!  Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms, grandmas, aunts, fur baby mommas, and adoptive mommas.  While Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate, it can also bring about grief for some.  For those who have lost a mom, or are still dreaming of becoming a mom, this day can be very hard.  Please make sure that you are being thoughtful and sensitive to those around you who may be grieving this Mother’s Day. This week on the blog I’m going to talk about lessons I’ve learned from my own mom.  My mom is one of the strongest, kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met in my life (I’m not biased, other people have said this about...

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How to Forgive Others and Release Yourself

May 2, 2018
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| Feelings, Forgiveness, Relationships
forgive

We all have times where people we care about hurt us.  Sometimes these wounds are fleeting and temporary at the moment.  Other times the wounds we experience are long-lasting and detrimental to our development and functioning.  It’s not unusual for clients to come into my office holding onto past hurts from parents, siblings, friends/peers, bosses, coworkers, exes, spouses, and children.  What they don’t realize is that they have not been able to forgive the other person and move on.  Sometimes forgiveness is a process and requires intentionality. Today I hope to relay to you a method for forgiveness and healing.  It’s a way to work through the past hurt, validate your own feelings about what happened, and eventually move on...

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Are you Married to a Narcissist?

April 25, 2018
| 2 Comments
| Marriage, Relationships
narcissist

Have you ever noticed that your spouse is selfish, controlling, and manipulative?  Do you feel like they never take your feelings into consideration?  Do you feel dismissed by them?  If so, you may be married to a narcissist.  Narcissism is a word that is often thrown around, but today I want to define what it actually is and give you tips for self-care if you recognize that you are married to a narcissist. What is Narcissism? Narcissists are self-absorbed, have a lack of empathy for others, and are grandiose.  They are often described as being selfish, controlling, manipulative, and entitled.  Arrogance is also a key trait.  Narcissists believe they are unique and special.  They may believe that they are the...

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Feel Like a Fraud? You May Have Imposter Syndrome

April 18, 2018
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| Perfectionism, Self-Esteem, Shame
imposter syndrome

We all have times in our life when we feel like a fake.  Maybe we feel ill-equipped, not good enough, or have a fear of being exposed.  This is called Imposter Syndrome.  Imposter Syndrome is an inability to see your own accomplishments and successes, and instead fear that others will see through you.  People with Imposter Syndrome are often high-achievers who don’t believe their successes in life are due to their hard work, intelligence, creativity, or natural talents.  Instead, they fear that the accomplishments are only due to luck or circumstance. Imposter Syndrome is grounded in inadequacy.  For example, I can give you the perfect example of Imposter Syndrome since I am writing this blog.  While writing, I may start...

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