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Category: Relationships

Are You a Good Friend?

April 11, 2018
| No Comments
| Boundaries, Communication, Relationships
friend

What makes someone a good friend?  A good friend is reliable, trustworthy, and honest.  They love you enough to be a listening ear, but care enough to call you out on unhealthy behaviors.  They live life with you in community through the ups and downs.  They’re present and show forgiveness and grace. We all have those “friends”.  You know what I mean.  The friends who are flaky, unreliable, and unavailable.  The one who commits to plans, but you know will probably back out last second.  Maybe the friend is a surface-level friend, meaning that you only talk about the weather and your kids’ activities, but never anything deep.  What about that friend that takes and takes, but never gives in...

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8 Fair Fighting Rules for Couples

March 28, 2018
| 2 Comments
| Communication, Marriage, Relationships
fair fighting

All couples fight.  It’s inevitable!  But do you and your partner know how to fight fair?  This week on the blog I’m going to discuss some Rules for Fair Fighting.  It’s easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, and say and do things that are hurtful and damaging.  The following Fair Fighting Rules can help your disagreements be productive and conflict resolved quicker: I-Messages The best way to talk about Fair Fighting Rules is to discuss the way you start a conversation.  I talk a lot with couples about the difference between an I-Message and a You-Message.  A You-Message is blaming, attacking, and critical.  It sounds a little like this: “You never take the trash out...

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12 Reasons Why Marriage Counseling Can Help

March 7, 2018
| No Comments
| Counseling, Marriage, Relationships
marriage counseling

We live in a time where it’s very easy to put the most important things on the back burner.  When we look at our list of priorities, often nurturing our marriage gets pushed to the bottom of the list.  Today I want to talk to you completely unfiltered about why Marriage Counseling can help you. The reasons that couples start Marriage Counseling can look different from couple to couple.  I’m going to attempt to address some of the most popular reasons why couples come through my door: Communication problems Do you find yourself struggling to communicate with your spouse?  Do you have the same fights over and over again, with no resolution?  Marriage Counseling can help you learn to talk...

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What are The 5 Love Languages?

February 14, 2018
| No Comments
| Marriage, Relationships
The 5 Love Languages

Happy Valentine’s Day from Journey to Joy!  Since love is in the air, today I’m going to talk about ways to improve your relationships and love your partner better.  Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a very popular book called The 5 Love Languages.  The 5 Love Languages include Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Gifts.  The premise behind the 5 Love Languages is that we all have 1 (sometimes 2) ways that we prefer to show love and be shown love by others.  This is very important information to know about yourself and your partner, because you may not be on the same page.  Here is what the 5 Love Languages look like: Acts of Service...

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Let’s Talk About Sex

February 7, 2018
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| Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
sex

Can it be awkward to talk to your spouse about your sex?  Absolutely!  We all want to think that we have everything figured out sexually and that our spouses are completely satisfied.  Many couples enter into a marriage expecting that things in the bedroom will just happen or have a way of working themselves out.  Obviously, this is not always the case. I often ask couples to look at it from this perspective: Would you rather endure a few possibly uncomfortable conversations or a lifetime of being unhappy or unsatisfied in your sex life?  By following these suggestions and opening dialogue between you and your spouse, you can assure you are moving intimacy in a more enjoyable and fulfilling direction...

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What is Enmeshment?

January 17, 2018
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| Boundaries, Codependency, Relationships
enmeshment

Enmeshment exists when one partner is overly consumed and obsessed with another person in a relationship.  It may be hard for outsiders to see where you end and the other person begins.  In an enmeshed relationship, you may think/say things like “You complete me” or “I can’t live without you”.  In this type of relationship, there are no clear boundaries. An enmeshed relationship is suffocating and codependent.  Enmeshment can include only spending time with one other person.  It can also look like being unable to make a decision without that person’s opinion. Enmeshment is most often seen in intimate/romantic relationships, but can also exist between parents and children, siblings, and friends. Most individuals who are in enmeshed relationships don’t realize...

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7 Effective Ways to Rebuild Trust in Marriage

January 10, 2018
| No Comments
| Infidelity, Marriage, Relationships
trust

Sometimes people we love and care about the most will hurt us by breaking our trust.  Sometimes we end up being the ones doing the hurting.  When trust is broken in a marriage, it’s important to  repair the relationship by being intentional.  Whether the trust was broke by lying, infidelity, deceit, words, or back-stabbing, it’s important that the rebuilding process begins immediately. Increase and improve communication It may be hard to talk to your spouse, especially if you are the one who was hurt.  When your partner breaks trust, it’s important to talk about what happened and why.  Bad things can happen when you stuff feelings, build walls up, or avoid the elephant in the room.  Because of the hurt,...

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How to Set Boundaries in a Relationship

November 22, 2017
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| Boundaries, Communication, Marriage, Relationships
boundaries

What Are Boundaries? Boundaries exist so that we can teach others the expectations, rules, and limits we have.  Boundaries also communicate what our emotional needs are.  They exist to keep bad things out of our relationships and good things in. Boundaries allow us to say “I’m ok/not ok with that”.  They provide a layer of protection to a relationship.  If boundaries have never been discussed or established, there is a good chance that invisible lines have been crossed many times.  There may be a lot of hurt and conflict in the relationship, but very little understanding on how to resolve it. How many times have you said “Yes” to something and really meant “No”?  Boundaries help us to say “No”...

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Cheap and Free Date Nights

November 8, 2017
| No Comments
| Marriage, Relationships
date

Date nights are a fun way to reconnect with your partner.  Often in sessions, I hear things like “We just don’t have time”, or “We can’t find a baby-sitter”, or “We don’t have the extra money”.  If you’ve ever said any of the above, please keep reading! I’m going to prove that date nights don’t have to be expensive.  The first thing I want you to try is to Google “Cheap date nights in (insert your city and state)”.  Just in Indy alone, there are dozens of websites with ideas for cheap date nights.  In addition to this, Groupon/Living Social are wonderful resources to get local deals on restaurants, shows, and activities...with huge discounts! Think outside of the box.  Dinner...

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