How to Take Care of Yourself During the Holiday Season

holiday

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from Journey to Joy!  As wonderful as the holiday season is, it can also be really, really hard on people.  Today I want to take some time to address ways to take care of YOU during this season—despite what may be going on around you.  I firmly believe that we can all not only survive this holiday season but also thrive during it. Boundaries About a year ago, I wrote a blog called How to Set Boundaries During the Holidays.  I talk so much about boundary-setting during the holiday season because boundaries are so incredibly important.  If you don’t set boundaries you end up frustrated, anxious, hurt, and disappointed (at yourself and others).  When you...

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Are You in an Enmeshed Relationship?

enmeshed relationship

Have you ever been in a relationship that controls you?  Have you ever put someone else’s wants and needs before your own?  Is it possible that you have lost your own sense of identity?  Do you feel guilt and angst over letting another person down?  If so, you may be in an enmeshed relationship. What is Enmeshment? When you are enmeshed with someone, you can become consumed with the other person.  There are no clear boundaries within the relationship, and any boundaries that do exist are permeable.  It’s very common for a lot of over-sharing to occur in an enmeshed relationship.  It may be impossible for each person to have their own individuality and instead feel defined by the relationship. ...

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5 Ways to Guard Your Marriage from Infidelity

marriage counseling in carmel, indiana

We live in a day and age where it can be difficult to keep your marriage safe.  Everything is fast-paced, and we are too busy.  Sometimes the busyness of the day-to-day can make you forget to focus on and protect your marriage.  It's a very slippery slope when there are many outside pressures and temptations that can impact your marriage negatively.  Today I’m going to talk about some simple ways to guard against infidelity.  My hope is that you may see some areas where the two of you can work to improve and protect your marriage. Opposite Sex Boundaries Having boundaries in marriage is sometimes a controversial topic.  Boundaries are meant to protect yourselves and your marriage, not control or...

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How to Set Boundaries with Teens

boundaries with teens

If you are a parent to a teen or preteen, you know these years with them are fun and challenging.  From hormones to peer pressure, to staying up on the newest social media trend, this time is hard on parents!  If you struggle with boundaries yourself, it can be hard to know when and how to implement them with your teen.  Today on the blog I’m going to tackle boundaries with teens, and why they are so important to set. What are Boundaries? Boundaries are bumpers we put in place to protect ourselves and to protect our loved ones.  When we set boundaries with others, we teach them how we want to be treated.  We also communicate what we will...

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Are You a Good Friend?

friend

What makes someone a good friend?  A good friend is reliable, trustworthy, and honest.  They love you enough to be a listening ear, but care enough to call you out on unhealthy behaviors.  They live life with you in community through the ups and downs.  They’re present and show forgiveness and grace. We all have those “friends”.  You know what I mean.  The friends who are flaky, unreliable, and unavailable.  The one who commits to plans, but you know will probably back out last second.  Maybe the friend is a surface-level friend, meaning that you only talk about the weather and your kids’ activities, but never anything deep.  What about that friend that takes and takes, but never gives in...

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Are You Codependent (And Don’t Know It)?

codependency

Codependency is a topic I talk a lot about in therapy sessions.  Many people I work with are codependent, and actually don’t realize it.  Often this is because they’ve never heard of codependency, or they have heard of it and don’t realize what it actually is.  This week on the blog, I will be discussing what it means to be codependent, and how you can be healthier in your relationships. Causes of Codependency Codependency was first identified in the 1950’s as a role that many people fall into when they are married to or close to someone in active addiction.  Also referred to as a “co-addict”, codependents often enable the addict to continue using, without actually realizing it! If you...

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How to Set Boundaries During the Holidays

boundaries

It’s the holiday season!  For some, this season is full of joy, happiness, and togetherness.  For others, it may create a sense of anxiety, dread, and fear.  The hustle and bustle of the holiday season may feel more stressful than fun.  If this sounds like you, I hope to offer you some suggestions to help this holiday season go smoother than previous years by setting boundaries. What are Boundaries? The reason I talk about boundaries so much in session and also online is because they are so important!  Boundaries teach other people how we want them to treat us, and what we are/are not okay with.  When you set boundaries with family members, you may say things like: “No that...

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How to Set Boundaries in a Relationship

boundaries

What Are Boundaries? Boundaries exist so that we can teach others the expectations, rules, and limits we have.  Boundaries also communicate what our emotional needs are.  They exist to keep bad things out of our relationships and good things in. Boundaries allow us to say “I’m ok/not ok with that”.  They provide a layer of protection to a relationship.  If boundaries have never been discussed or established, there is a good chance that invisible lines have been crossed many times.  There may be a lot of hurt and conflict in the relationship, but very little understanding on how to resolve it. How many times have you said “Yes” to something and really meant “No”?  Boundaries help us to say “No”...

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