From Comparative Suffering to Compassion

Showing Compassion

Let me paint a scene for you. Two friends (let’s call them Carrie and Melissa) are grabbing lunch together and here’s what their conversation sounds like:  Carrie: You won’t believe what happened in our staff meeting this morning. My boss just handed me a huge project that she wants done by the end of this week. I’ll have to stay late tomorrow night to finish it in time, which means I’m going to miss my daughter’s volleyball game.  Melissa: You think that’s bad?! You have no idea the stress I’m under right now! I can’t even think about work with everything going on with my mom. It’s looking like we will have to move her into assisted living because I...

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Courageous Beginnings: 10 Reasons to Start Therapy Today

New Beginnings

Do I need therapy? How can therapy help me?  If you’ve ever asked these questions, you’re not alone. Therapy is one of those words with many preconceived ideas attached to it. Some think therapy is only for people with severe mental health diagnoses. Others think therapy is only for crises or processing major life events. And some think therapy is a sign of weakness. I hope to offer some brief thoughts on the value of therapy, and some reasons to start therapy today. “There will be moments when you bloom fully and then wilt, only to bloom again. If we can learn anything from flowers it is that resilience is born even when we feel like we are dying.” These...

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12 Toxic Habits That Kill Relationships

habits

We all have unhealthy habits in our romantic relationships or marriages.  However, there are definitely some behaviors that are considered more “toxic” or dangerous to the relationship long-term.  If you find yourself or your partner falling into any of the following habits, you may want to consider reaching out for help!  Many of the habits listed below could lead to major issues and a toxic relationship between the two of you. Control Do you have equal power in your relationship?  There are a few reasons why this is important.  One, you need to have equal say and decision-making power.  Two, your relationship is a team.  If you find yourself having less than 50% power, it may be time to re-evaluate....

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10 Easy Ways to Increase Intimacy

intimacy

It can be very difficult after so much time together to keep intimacy as a priority.  Between kids, your career, extra-curricular activities, and running a household, oftentimes intimacy can easily get put on the back burner.  If you find yourself in a rut, I want to suggest a few ways to improve your communication and work towards better intimacy.  It can improve with intentionality and time! First, let’s define what intimacy is and isn’t.  Intimacy is sex, but that’s not all.  Intimacy is the deep, emotional connection you have with your partner.  It’s the stability, the comfort, and the familiar.  Intimacy is knowing each other inside and out, and accepting each other—flaws and all!  Intimacy makes a healthy sexual life...

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What are The 5 Love Languages?

The 5 Love Languages

Happy Valentine’s Day from Journey to Joy!  Since love is in the air, today I’m going to talk about ways to improve your relationships and love your partner better.  Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a very popular book called The 5 Love Languages.  The 5 Love Languages include Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, and Gifts.  The premise behind the 5 Love Languages is that we all have 1 (sometimes 2) ways that we prefer to show love and be shown love by others.  This is very important information to know about yourself and your partner, because you may not be on the same page.  Here is what the 5 Love Languages look like: Acts of Service...

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Let’s Talk About Sex

sex

Can it be awkward to talk to your spouse about your sex?  Absolutely!  We all want to think that we have everything figured out sexually and that our spouses are completely satisfied.  Many couples enter into a marriage expecting that things in the bedroom will just happen or have a way of working themselves out.  Obviously, this is not always the case. I often ask couples to look at it from this perspective: Would you rather endure a few possibly uncomfortable conversations or a lifetime of being unhappy or unsatisfied in your sex life?  By following these suggestions and opening dialogue between you and your spouse, you can assure you are moving intimacy in a more enjoyable and fulfilling direction...

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7 Effective Ways to Rebuild Trust in Marriage

trust

Sometimes people we love and care about the most will hurt us by breaking our trust.  Sometimes we end up being the ones doing the hurting.  When trust is broken in a marriage, it’s important to  repair the relationship by being intentional.  Whether the trust was broke by lying, infidelity, deceit, words, or back-stabbing, it’s important that the rebuilding process begins immediately. Increase and improve communication It may be hard to talk to your spouse, especially if you are the one who was hurt.  When your partner breaks trust, it’s important to talk about what happened and why.  Bad things can happen when you stuff feelings, build walls up, or avoid the elephant in the room.  Because of the hurt,...

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