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Tag: marriage

10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming a Mom

May 1, 2019
| 1 Comment
| Marriage, Parenting, Shame
mom

About a month ago, I became a mom to the most beautiful, sweet, and cuddly little girl.  She is our answer to so many prayers, and our wish come true. Before I became a mom, there are so many things I had heard about, and yet not experienced.  Today on the blog I would love to take some time to address some of these small, yet meaningful things I’ve learned. 1. Let It Go I am a self-proclaimed control freak.  I like order, schedules, and knowing what to expect.  Over the past month, to some extent, some of that has flown out the window.  While a schedule is still really important, this controller is learning to slowly let go of...

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Why January is Called “Divorce Month”

January 16, 2019
| No Comments
| Divorce, Marriage
divorce

January is a hard month for multiple reasons—it’s cold, dreary, there is not a lot to look forward to, and the holidays are over.  January is also known unofficially as “divorce month”—the month where more divorces are filed than any other month of the year. The first Monday after New Year’s Day sees a significant hike in divorce filings.  For some couples, they stay together for the holidays to create one last “normal” Christmas.  Oftentimes this is done for the sake of the children and/or extended family.  Sometimes it is because the couple wanted to give it one last push at the end of the year to see if things could be fixed.  Also, since the New Year is associated...

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Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Propose

November 14, 2018
| No Comments
| Marriage, Premarital Counseling, Relationships
propose

We are coming into the holiday season, which means that lots of people will be getting engaged soon.  If you plan to propose soon or believe your partner may be, I want you to take a second to consider if this is the right fit for you, or even the right time.  In a time period where the divorce rate for first marriages is 50% and rising, you want to make sure you are making the right decision for both of you. As someone who works with a lot of couples in many different stages of relationships (dating, engaged, married, divorcing), I meet a lot of couples who rushed into marriage without understanding the commitment they were making.  My hope...

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Are You in an Enmeshed Relationship?

August 29, 2018
| No Comments
| Boundaries, Codependency, Family, Relationships
enmeshed relationship

Have you ever been in a relationship that controls you?  Have you ever put someone else’s wants and needs before your own?  Is it possible that you have lost your own sense of identity?  Do you feel guilt and angst over letting another person down?  If so, you may be in an enmeshed relationship. What is Enmeshment? When you are enmeshed with someone, you can become consumed with the other person.  There are no clear boundaries within the relationship, and any boundaries that do exist are permeable.  It’s very common for a lot of over-sharing to occur in an enmeshed relationship.  It may be impossible for each person to have their own individuality and instead feel defined by the relationship. ...

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5 Ways to Guard Your Marriage from Infidelity

July 11, 2018
| No Comments
| Boundaries, Infidelity, Marriage
marriage counseling in carmel, indiana

We live in a day and age where it can be difficult to keep your marriage safe.  Everything is fast-paced, and we are too busy.  Sometimes the busyness of the day-to-day can make you forget to focus on and protect your marriage.  It's a very slippery slope when there are many outside pressures and temptations that can impact your marriage negatively.  Today I’m going to talk about some simple ways to guard against infidelity.  My hope is that you may see some areas where the two of you can work to improve and protect your marriage. Opposite Sex Boundaries Having boundaries in marriage is sometimes a controversial topic.  Boundaries are meant to protect yourselves and your marriage, not control or...

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5 Ways to Successfully Navigate Money Issues in Marriage

July 4, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Finances, Marriage
money marriage carmel indiana

Money is definitely the number one topic that couples fight about.  Why is this?  Money is complicated.  It’s necessary to have money in order to live.  It’s necessary to make money.  And it’s often difficult to be on the same page as your partner when it comes to your views about money. It’s very typical to have one person in a marriage that is the Saver, and one that is the Spender.  This automatically creates conflict.  When one person wants to save (for the future, emergencies, rainy days), and the other wants to live and enjoy life by spending money, a conflict will ensue. So how do you successfully navigate money in your marriage?  Today I’m going to discuss some...

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5 Reasons Why You Should Slow Down that Engagement

June 13, 2018
| No Comments
| Marriage, Premarital Counseling
engagement premarital counseling Carmel Indiana

It’s wedding season, which means we are in the thick of bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and wedding ceremonies.  I’ve even noticed an uptick in conversations about weddings in my counseling sessions!  People who are not yet married are seeing all the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, and often wishing that could be them.  Being around weddings can make women especially dream about their own engagement and wedding. While this time of the year is sweet and lovely and full of fairy tales, it’s also important to discuss the reality of a marriage.  Once a couple is engaged, there is often a rush to the church alter, without a lot of time to process the leap both are getting...

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12 Toxic Habits That Kill Relationships

May 30, 2018
| No Comments
| Communication, Marriage, Relationships, Sex
habits

We all have unhealthy habits in our romantic relationships or marriages.  However, there are definitely some behaviors that are considered more “toxic” or dangerous to the relationship long-term.  If you find yourself or your partner falling into any of the following habits, you may want to consider reaching out for help!  Many of the habits listed below could lead to major issues and a toxic relationship between the two of you. Control Do you have equal power in your relationship?  There are a few reasons why this is important.  One, you need to have equal say and decision-making power.  Two, your relationship is a team.  If you find yourself having less than 50% power, it may be time to re-evaluate....

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What to Do Immediately After an Affair Is Discovered

May 23, 2018
| No Comments
| Infidelity, Marriage
affair

When an affair is discovered, it is devastating.  It’s not unusual to feel in shock, anger, rage, depression, or even hopeless.  Sometimes the initial shock can be paralyzing.  Every person’s initial reaction is a little different.  This blog, in particular, is for those whose spouses have committed infidelity. There’s not necessarily a handbook or step-by-step manual of what to do next.  What I can tell you is that there are some steps that need to be taken quickly.  The following tips are what I have learned in my years of practice, and what I would encourage anyone to do should you discover your partner has been unfaithful. Disclaimer: Keep in mind, if you are in an abusive situation, these do...

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10 Easy Ways to Increase Intimacy

May 16, 2018
| No Comments
| Marriage, Relationships, Sex
intimacy

It can be very difficult after so much time together to keep intimacy as a priority.  Between kids, your career, extra-curricular activities, and running a household, oftentimes intimacy can easily get put on the back burner.  If you find yourself in a rut, I want to suggest a few ways to improve your communication and work towards better intimacy.  It can improve with intentionality and time! First, let’s define what intimacy is and isn’t.  Intimacy is sex, but that’s not all.  Intimacy is the deep, emotional connection you have with your partner.  It’s the stability, the comfort, and the familiar.  Intimacy is knowing each other inside and out, and accepting each other—flaws and all!  Intimacy makes a healthy sexual life...

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